Since I found out about my ex-husband’s covert escapades, I’ve been doing a lot of stress eating (see “salted caramel” post below). Now, if you haven’t eaten entire pints of ice cream while staring at the wall (not that I know anyone who has…), you may not know that your skinny jeans will literally fight you afterward. They squeeze their stupid little threads together as tight as they can and refuse to let up until your ass looks better in them. Little bastards.
Lately, my wardrobe and I have not been on very good terms. Until we reach a peace agreement, I am wearing my baggiest of dresses and sweaters while trying to focus on the best items of clothing, the ones that can never make you look fat: accessories!
Through the chaos of Black Friday and my crying stint in Macy’s, I emerged with a few modern-vintage pieces that make me smile every time I look at them. Isn’t shopping so soothing?
I have always been obsessed with 1920s hair, and I think this headband would look gorgeous with that style. Why isn’t it socially acceptable to wear the same hairpiece every day? Why why why?
These patterned tights are my new loves. They are going to give so much life and femininity to my boring winter dresses. Not to mention the waistband being so very forgiving for the holidays. Christmas cookies, here I come!
Finally, I am obsessed with my new little black purse. My sister already told me how ugly she thinks it is, but I am pretty sure she is just jealous that she can’t pull off gold. I stand by my obsession with this handbag.
So I successfully came out of Black Friday with $500 worth of stuff for myself and no gifts for anyone else. I blame my selfishness where I blame all of my other problems: on my ex. In case you are dying to run out and buy these this instant, the headband is from J. Crew, tights from Ann Taylor Factory Store, shoes from ShoeDazzle, and purse from Francesca’s. Happy retail therapy season, everyone. Remember to buy more for yourself than necessary.