Culinary Therapy: Boy-blues-curing Chocopeanutpretzel Clusters

So tonight was date #3 for me and the man whom I fondly refer to as my “back alley way lover” (BAWL for short). Why such a name? Because we made out in the alley way behind a bar the first night we met. That’s right, ladies. I keep it classy.

Now, BAWL has a bit of a track record to come back from. The first date went exceptionally well, but was followed by an underwhelming sequel. I noticed he has a lot of very unattractive qualities, such as: letting me pay on the second date even though he drives a Porsche, not walking me to my car, and a general aversion to opening up or discussing anything meaningful.

So why did I give BAWL another chance? Let’s be real- it’s because he is extremely good-looking. If I had a penis, it would lead my decisions right now, but there isn’t really an equivalent expression for women so that just sounds awkward. In any case, tonight was make or break.

I promised myself I would tell BAWL the big “I was married two months ago” thing to see how he reacted, almost as a test. Unfortunately, there was no good time to put it in there. I ended up blurting it out very awkwardly, after which he nearly chugged the rest of the wine. Then, surprisingly, he told me it was no big deal at all. He truly acted like it wasn’t the rest of the night, which actually made me feel weirder. The date ended with some nice kisses, but I don’t think I will be going out with him again.

Disheartened, I did what any rational girl would do right after a disappointing date: bought two pairs of shoes. Straight after that, I came home to a house of unappealing Thanksgiving leftovers and a craving for something sweet.

In these trying times of depression and divorce, my cabinets have never been more barren. The caramel, the cookies, the ice cream sandwiches- all gone. In the midst of this, I pressed on. Three ingredients stood out as clear front runners for my snack attack:

Okay. Pretzels, peanut butter, chocolate. Nothing you do with these can be wrong. Personally, I chose a puppy-chow-esque route. Here is how it turned out:

Here is the approximate recipe I used to make this. It is simple, quick, and will cure most dating blues when supplemented by $140 worth of shoes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am ready for my alone time with these little clusters of goodness and my couch. This is one date that won’t let me down.

Boy-blues-curing Chocopeanutpretzel Clusters

1 c. pretzel, broken into pieces
¼ c. peanut butter
⅓ c. melted chocolate
¼ c. chopped almonds
Powdered sugar to taste

Mix together pretzels, PB, chocolate, and almonds. Put mixture into plastic bag and add powdered sugar, a handful at a time, closing and shaking the bag with each addition. Stop when pieces are sugar-coated and delicious. Eat in abundance.

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10 thoughts on “Culinary Therapy: Boy-blues-curing Chocopeanutpretzel Clusters

  1. Love your story, and the dessert which resulted from it!

  2. mstablefor1 says:

    I havent dated since my divorce. I work from home, so it’s kinda hard to meet anyone…Do guys really get the heebie jeebies? That’s so weird to me….

    • I doubt it gives the good ones heebie jeebies. I think it worries me how they will react because I am only 24 and I don’t want them to think something is wrong with me or I am an emotional basket case (even if it is borderline true 😉 ).

      • Lindsey says:

        I got separated at 25 and divorced about a year and a half later (I was holding on…still not sure why). I was SO nervous about telling guys that I was divorced. Like oh my god how are they going to react!? Plus I felt it necessary to obsess over whether or not I should tell each and every single guy I went out with. Here’s the conclusion that I finally came to. If they do care then they aren’t right for me. I don’t advertise it, but I don’t try and hide it. Does the guy talk about his ex girlfriends on the first date? No…(we hope not anyway) so why do you have to talk about it? I actually dated a guy for about 8 months – it was really casual – and we never talked about it. I knew from the beginning that we were just having fun and that was ok. It’s ok to be hurt and it’s ok to just enjoy being single…even if it really feels sucky for a while.

        And trust me, I totally felt the same way…I’m damaged, I’m a mess…but ultimately HE’S the one that screwed up. My ex-husband and I are on fine terms, but he cheated on me too and I didn’t do anything wrong. At the end of the day, it’s his loss.

        Anyway…enough of my ramblings. Your blog is great! Oh and it matches mine!

      • Goodness, we do seem to have a lot in common! I love finding other bloggers who I can relate to. It’s so nice to get unbiased advice from people who have no reason to lie to you, too. It is such a strange topic of conversation to bring up on the whole divorce thing… I just hope I can find someone who will see me and not just see what I have been through!

        Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  3. This seriously is a must try! Chocolate & peanut butter were made for eachother .. and throwing a salty goodness into the mix? That’s pretty much heaven! Yum!

  4. […] Friday night, I went out but didn’t meet anyone new. In fact, I hung out with a friend of back alley way lover’s for a little bit, which led to me texting him, asking why he wasn’t out.  Why, why, WHY do […]

  5. […] I received a text from an unknown number that read “I was just right by you.” Creepy as fuck, right? Turns out it was neither a murderer nor pedophile. Nope, it was none other than back alley way lover (BAWL). […]

  6. […] My date has not yet tried to feel me up in a dark alleyway. 2. He has not yet found my blog. 3. I am 90% certain he is not secretly gay. 4. Yesterday, an ugly […]

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