Culinary Therapy: Sweet & Salty Toffee Bars

I think at this point, it’s getting obvious that I have a penchant for the sweet/ salty combo (see salted caramel, chocopeanutpretzel clusters below). This week’s dessert of choice follows suit and features delicious saltines covered with mouthwatering toffee and milk chocolate.

I made these beauties last night to bring to my ladies’ book club, where gossip and striptease lessons take priority over actually discussing the book. I’ve found that good girlfriends are the absolute key to surviving a single life. Thank God I have an awesome group of girls in Austin who will listen to me talk about sex for a full hour. What can I say, the flood gates have opened. I have a one-track mind. This must be what it feels like to have a penis.

Before yesterday’s book club, I was exchanging texts and planning dates with not one, but 2 (TWO!) men. Who am I?! This is such an unsustainable lifestyle, but I am going to keep being an attention whore for as long as the boys flow in. I think that two years of a secretly cheating dirtbag husband has earned me that right.

Bachelor number one was the infamous back alley way lover (BAWL), who I made out with in a back alley way and have been on three dates with. I know I said it was over, but he apparently decided that I am an interesting human being again, or was just bored. And he is just. so. hot. Bachelor number two was the boy I met last week and really liked. Cute, and a great personality.

Post-book-club, I was right next to BAWL’s place, so I went over. I thought I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. To my astonishment, we had the most relaxed evening I have had in a while, consisting of some quality cuddling in front of the TV. He didn’t even make a move! This boy is driving me insane. He surprises me at every turn.

Tonight, I may be meeting up with bachelor number two. Stay tuned for further details. To gear up for that potential date, I am savoring the leftover crumbs from these delicious toffee bars. The elastic band on my skirt is telling me no, but my mouth is telling me yes. Yes, yes, yes.

Here is the recipe (from


1.5 sleeves of saltine crackers
1 stick (4 oz) butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
2 cups chocolate chips


1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare a baking sheet by lining it with aluminum foil and spraying the foil with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Arrange the crackers in a single layer on the baking sheet so that there are no empty spaces in between them. Crush any remaining crackers into small crumbs and set aside for now.

3. Place the butter and brown sugar in a small saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir while the butter melts, and bring the mixture to a rolling boil. Once boiling, carefully pour the sugar-butter mixture over the crackers on the baking sheet in an even layer, trying to cover most of the crackers. If you miss some spots, don’t worry as the toffee will spread in the oven.

4. Bake the toffee crackers at 350 degrees for five minutes, until the toffee is bubbling all over. Carefully remove the pan from the oven and allow to cool for one minute.

5. Sprinkle the chocolate chips on top of the hot toffee, and allow them to sit for one minute to soften and melt. Once softened, use an offset spatula or knife to spread the melted chocolate over the entire surface of the toffee in an even layer. While the chocolate is still sticky, sprinkle the top with the reserved crushed crackers.

I cannot stress how easy these were to make. Even though my waistband is telling me to stop baking, my string of text messages is sending a clear message: boys like girls who eat toffee. At least that’s what I will keep telling myself. Forever.

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2 thoughts on “Culinary Therapy: Sweet & Salty Toffee Bars

  1. Wow. I love sweet and salty combination. I need to try these soon enough! Lovely post, there. Do drop by my space when you have the time. I’d love to hear from you.

  2. i use dark chocolate chips…yum. must make soon.

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