Love is Blind. And so am I.

This morning, I awoke to a special treat in the form of a corneal abrasion. Which is a fancy way of saying that at some point during my drunken slumber, I scratched my own eye.

If it did not hurt so goddamned much, I might actually be impressed. The logistics are quite astounding. I somehow managed to fully open my eye mid-dream, then proceeded to touch it without blinking. All the while remaining completely asleep.

Excuse me while I add that to my list of useful talents.

After I could keep both eyes open long enough to figure out which one of the toilets I was seeing was real, I made the long and terrifying journey to work. People were likely confused as to why a disheveled woman with no make-up was clearly drunk driving at nine in the morning.

By the grace of God, I arrived safely. Just in time to look in the mirror and see the Bride of Frankenstein staring back at me in double.

I spent the better half of the morning Googling variations of “sexy eyepatch.”

too much?

I did go to the doctor, and a patch won’t be necessary, so my efforts were wasted. Which is sad, because I was kind of looking forward to a new accessory. If I can’t bring the pirate hooker look back in style, no one can.

My abrasion and I look forward to a peaceful evening of baking and eye drops.

As a side note: This will really teach me not to make jokes about blind people in my blog anymore.

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11 thoughts on “Love is Blind. And so am I.

  1. Baker Bettie says:

    HAHA! The last line. I was contemplating telling you that it was payback for your last post and comments about blind people emailing. But you beat me to the punch. You are clearly as witty as me. Take that back. You are much more witty. I just pretend to be.

  2. That eye patch is hot and I think you can pull it off without needing to one-eyed. You go with the glam hooker pirate patch!

  3. The Mouse says:

    I agree with Fiercely Yours. Go for the eye patch anyway. Glad you don’t need one though. 🙂

  4. ConnieMaria says:

    Lol I say go for the eye patch anyways!! 😀 (happy to hear there’s no permanent damage though!)

  5. Ouch! Hope you heal up soon!

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