Today, I am en route from Charleston to Austin. Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like a Sunday at the airport. The smell of overpriced chinese food, the jolting boom of the loudspeaker, the unshakable chill that almost makes you want to pay $5 for a plastic-wrapped blanket… hard to beat this ambiance.
The purpose of my four-day Charleston getaway was to get in some girl time with my college roommates. Last time we saw each other, two of them were walking down the aisle with me toward my future husband. It’s amazing how much life can change in less than a year.
My favorite (and also most difficult) moment of the trip took place on the beach. As we walked to the ocean, I thought about all of the beaches I had been to with my husband. I thought of the time my kite carried me off the ground and I was flipping down the beach – stopping only when he caught my jacket and we both thudded to the ground bursting with laughter. I thought of when we built a sand damn just to see how many waves it could withstand, high-fiving each other with every success. Of venturing out on perilous-looking rocks, seeing who could find the most tiny crabs. Of falling asleep in the sun and applying aloe to each other’s backs for days. Of salty kisses when I could barely keep my head above water. Of lying in a hammock suspended over the water on our honeymoon, not wanting for anything in the universe but each other.
Everything rushed back to me at once and behind my sunglasses, I started to cry. I tried to ride out the memories in silence, but fortunately, I got caught. Then, four of my best girlfriends surrounded me in the most epic of group hugs. I wish there was an aerial camera to capture that beautiful memory, along with the strange looks the passersby must have been giving us. It was something I’ll never forget.
Charleston brought me joy, pain, and a strong distaste for pastel-colored pants. Along with that, it brought some nice tidbits of sunshine. So without further ado and sappiness, let’s get to the goods.
1. Rustic Gold Jewelry: I am a sucker for dangly earrings. I feel so glamorous and indie chic with these. The best part is that they are super light and only cost $6 at the open marketplace in Charleston. Amen for knockoffs.

2. Goat Cheese: This is a favorite of mine in any state. I could have it in my breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert and die happy. Though I’d rather stay alive so that I can eat more of it. This delicious baguette topped with goat cheese and roasted tomato came in a little lunch bundle with red wine and tomato bisque- all for $8. I have to wonder what they do to the goat cheese in Texas to make it so much more expensive.

3. Casual-Chic Hairdos: One of my girlfriends made this tiny half-braid in her hair for a casual day of urban hiking (aka walking around town). I have always had hair envy for her mermaid locks of gold, but it was exacerbated when she pulled off this beautiful do. Since we live in different states, I am deeming it completely acceptable to rip this off and call it my own when I get back to Texas.

4. Springtime Flats: Measuring in at just above 5’2″, I have a general aversion to flats. They make me feel stumpy, small, and like a fatter, squished version of myself in heels. However, in the interest of my still-mildly-sprained ankle, I have put all my beautiful heels in temporary confinement and invested in some new flats. And guess what? I don’t hate them! They are sassy, feminine, fun, and perfect for springtime (which starts in a couple of weeks for us Texan folk).

5. Wrought Iron Details: One thing I loved about the deep south was the intricate decor and paint work on the exterior of the homes. I love using white wrought iron indoors to give a modern-vintage feel. If I could steal this from the window, I would put it up on my new red accent wall in a heartbeat. I would also probably be in jail.

Happy Sunday, my friends! May your day have fewer shrill baby screams and less motion sickness than mine.
SXSW: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Many of you may wonder what kind of horrible disease I must have caught that caused me to take a 2-day hiatus from blogging. After all, what do I even have to do other than write commentary on desserts and breast size?
Well, this week has been particularly busy. Droves of tech nerds, musicians, and hipsters have invaded my fine city to take part in the epic adventure that is SXSW. And I am in people-watching heaven.
Here is a brief summary of my adventures thus far:
The Good
SXSW means many things to many people. To me, it means free everything. My friends and I were awarded these lovely passes for having breasts. Did we take offense to this? No, we took a lovely evening of open bar, free sushi, and a live show by Jimmy Cliff instead. Thanks, creepy man with a cigar for your generosity.
Not all of the parties were quite as high-class, so we switched to some good old fashioned Texas beer when the champagne selection came from a box.
The Bad
Last night was sadly the low-light of my SXSW spree. Not because of the place or people, just because I was feeling down. It began with this bag of wine and ended with a very grumpy version of me whining until I passed out in the car.
One poor soul tried to approach me and make a connection. He asked if my eyelashes were real. When that shockingly incited no conversation, he incorrectly guessed what type of cellphone I was using to try and impress me. Then, he mostly stood there and stared like a drunken zombie.
Thank you for your inquiry, sir, but I am currently not accepting applicants with IQs under 60. Should my intelligence requirement be lifted, we will be in touch. But don’t hold your breath. I also bite. Not in a sexy way.
The Ugly
The people-watching at SXSW is incomparable. I want to rip some of the outfits off of the women and run away with them until I reach my closet, which I hear is the next craze in how to shop.
Other outfits are not only less desirable, but down right vom-worthy.
Exhibit A
Home girl needs some Stacy & Clinton in her life. Or at the very least a different pair of socks.
Exhibit B
What kills me is that I actually like her shirt. Just not awkwardly layered, and with neon bra straps a’ blazing. But the shoes leave me speechless – are they rain boots? wedges? cowboy boots? I’ll just call them “ugly.”
I have nothing more to say about this photo. So in summation…. SXSW is great. I cannot say the same for all of the wardrobe selections.
And here is my fake smile.
As one of my friends always signs off… kisses and blow jobs. (think about it. xoxo?)